Learning to love the way He made me. 🩵

I am a rather rebellious person by nature. Tell me I can't/won't do something and I'll bet my bottom dollar I'm doing the opposite. I guess raising me could have been alot easier on my parents had they applied the old reverse psychology trick on me. I have learned this cute little fact about myself, and have asked God many many times in my life why He would curse me with such a trait. I think it's like my inner self wants to do the opposite to see who will still love me at the end of the day. Ugh, toxic I know haha. 

Knowing this and praying for help has changed my perspective just ever so slightly, that it's no longer a part of myself that I hate. I have learned to navigate it, and use it for good. Being rebellious also makes me a "why" person. Because if you tell me to eat broccoli I'm gonna say no. But if you tell me that broccoli is high in vitamins, high in fiber and is antioxidant, I'm probably gonna say heck yes let's eat it for every meal! 

It also has caused me to ask why on beliefs and practices that I've been taught are correct from the very beginning of my mortal experience. Like, why shouldn't we drink coffee? (It lowers your vibration) Why should we read the Book of Mormon everyday? (It raises your vibration) Why shouldn't we curse, get tattoos, speak ill of others, etc. And also why should we go to the temple, west our garments, refrain from alcohol, etc. 

I'm not completely okay with "blind faith". And God made me that way. I believe it takes all kinds of kinds and apparently my kind has to ask really hard questions, and make really hard mistakes, and come to really hard answers. 

And my friends, isn't it just absolutely beautiful that God made us all different to help all kinds of kinds on their journey back to Him. ❤️

Love, Shelby 

My footzoning experience

 I can't recall the exact day or year I got my first footzone but I will ALWAYS remember the way I felt after it. A feeling that changed my life for the better. I won't go into that here I will just share some experiences I've had personally from being zoned. 

I had been in and out of the doctor's office several times trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was extremely tired, no motivation, I was constantly having UTIs and kidney infections and all the doctors kept telling me was that I was depressed. I already knew that but the other symptoms didn't add up. I was already on anti depressants, which weren't working and frustrated because they kept telling me everything looked normal. 

I sat down to get zoned and for the first time I felt truly validated in my experience with my body. She confirmed things that I suspected and told me things I didn't even think about! I was hooked. 

Another really cool experience I've had was she kept telling me to drink more water and I finally told her, look I can't. I physically cannot drink water. It makes me gag and I feel like I'm choking. Guys, no joke after that zone I have been able to drink water all day everyday if I want to!! 

If all of that didn't have me hooked this next one sealed the deal. Our sweet Allie spent a month in primary children's hospital for failure to thrive due to aspirating her feeds. We were told she would need a permanent G tube, she would probably never sit up, crawl, walk or run. The diagnosis was grim. I remember telling my husband that I just couldn't accept that fate for our baby. 

I scheduled with my amazing zoner Susan, and canceled all upcoming appointments at the doctors. God was guiding me to this amazing lady. The day finally came and we took her over. She zoned her and confirmed exactly what was going on with her but gave us a much more optimism outcome. She gave us some simple instructions to do at home with her and some supplements to give and from that day forward she improved. A few months after that zone she was sitting up, crawling and began eating with ZERO problems!

There are many more but for now this will do. This much I know, God is good and has gifted us this beautiful tool to help our fellow man on this earth. 🩵

I am not broken!

I was listening to a podcast today by Brenè Brown and her guest ,Glennon Doyle, Author of Untamed, said " My children do not need me to save them, they need me to save myself". And ummm wow...this could not have came at a better moment, than right now in my life! Worry over if I am messing them up or "dragging them to hell with me" or worried I'm not being a good enough mom, CONSTANTLY roll through my brain!

 Babes! Listen! You're not screwing them up, but you've got to save yourself, be yourself, so that they too can become undeniably themselves in any and all situations in life. Show them that it's okay to be you no matter what that looks like! Fuck the trends and the old beliefs of those around you. Be YOU! Undeniably you! Follow your wild heart and do what feels right for you! You are not broken! I am not BROKEN! WE ARE NOT BROKEN! 

We have given in to everyone's beliefs around us, even if that means doing shit you don't want to do! I'm so guilty of saying to myself, how will that make you look, what will others think. Who cares! Your judgements of yourself only exist in your head, quit feeding it! Stop making yourself sick trying to keep up with the Jones. 

Another amazing quote that came from the podcast, unsure who said it but she said something along the lines of " Its not the cruel criticism of those that we hate that shake us to our core, rather the quiet concern of those who love us most." 

Free yourself, grant yourself permission to be yourself. Be Brave. Know yourself, trust yourself and follow your gut. And repeat... I am not broken! 

Naked Truth

Throughout my journey the last year or so I can humbly say that I have learned a wealth of knowledge, both worldly, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Please do not take this post as one of bragging or judging. I am an imperfect human being just like the rest of y'all. This blog is for myself to look back on and remember the good lessons, and the knowledge I have gained. If you stumble upon this page somehow, welcome. If you find something that is helpful or useful, great! If you don't, that's fine too 💙

I have learned more about people and why they do the things they do over the past 9 months than ever before in my life. I have seen the worst and the best in people. I have had my eyes opened to some great truths. I have gained a tremendous amount of compassion towards people from all walks of life. I have discovered that the worst thing someone can be is definitely not NAKED. It's also not high, or drunk. It's not poor. It's not rich. It's not sexual. It has nothing to do with looks or popularity. It's not the color of your skin, or the clothes you wear. It's not fat. Nothing to do with your job or your political party. It's not whether you decide to go church every week or once in a while or not at all. So what is the worst "thing" a human can be????

 LOST.

So lost in themselves they forget others are real humans too. So lost, that they forget  they make their own mistakes. So lost that they cast judgement before love. So lost they can't even find themselves. So lost they have forgotten the whole purpose of being on this Earth. 

We find ourselves judging other's lives and the choices they make. We judge the outside and make assumptions. Gossip and speculate. When really we've just forgot that it's not our job to do so. We are only asked to love. 

I am lost too at times, aren't we all? I can honestly tell you that I make a great effort to apologize and replace it with love. Because....we are all lost and just need love to guide us back home. 

Chapters

 It's been a hot minute since I posted last 🤷 life eh? Today I walked my baby to her first day of Kindergarten. She skipped right in and only stopped to tell me that if I start to miss her that I can find her favorite teddy bear on her bed and can hug it any time! How am I so lucky to raise such incredible human beings?!? 

I kept my shit together, politely smiled and waved at all the other moms and dads dropping there little ones off to their first day. 

Got in my car and as I rounded the corner out of the school parking lot it hit me like a ton of bricks! I cried real alligator tears!! This is the beginning of a new chapter of life and I'm not sure that I fully enjoyed every word of the last chapter! I don't feel ready to close it yet! I thought back to each one of my kids first days and my heart twinged a bit, I thought about the moments I had alone with each child as the other entered school, their presence making letting the others go a little easier. But this is the last...there is no other little one to go home and cuddle. It truly is the beginning of a new chapter. I've thought about this day many times and how much I will get done and how amazing the quiet time will be but I didn't ever think of letting that stage of life go. 

I text my amazing husband who always supports me and more importantly puts things into perspective for me when I get caught up in emotions. He reminded me that whatever happened in the last chapter was the best I could do in those moments. (Read the four agreements if you haven't already!) And I had a eye opening moment. Yes, closing chapters are hard but if we focus on writing the story of the page we are on there will be no heartache when turning the page. Because we will be present in each word written of our story. We can intentionally enjoy each moment taking place and live more fully in the now! And my momma heart soothes knowing that closing one chapter only means opening a new one full of opportunities to make each moment great! 💙💙 

Smile and drink some water!! 💙

Truths

 Our whole lives, starting from the moment we are conceived, we begin to form truths in our belief systems. We begin to form opinions about ourselves and our outside world...our reality. We are constantly accepting things as truth, or denying things we don't believe. Our lives are shaped by every interaction we have with another's energy, whether that be positive or negative. 

We then begin to judge ourselves and others. Why? To protect the reality and dream we have in our belief system. If someone tells us something we don't agree with we become offended and judge them, telling ourselves "they must be wrong, because I'm certainly not!" Because, if we are wrong then we have to accept a new truth, a new reality, a new belief and that can crumble other truths we've taken on. 

What if, you, the one reading this blog decided to choose love as truth. Which almost all of us lack. What if we chose to speak kinder to ourselves? What if we chose to love instead of judge? Chose to love instead of gossip? Chose to love others differences? How far would the positive energy expand? How much change could you create? How many lives could you change? How would your life be affected? 

Much love, Shelby. 

P.S. you are loved just as you are! Now go drink some water! 💕

Pressure

 One thing that I realized way too late in my journey, is the truth that we all put way to many boundaries and pressures on ourselves. When I started to look at the walls I had built and the expectations I had placed on my existence, I was shocked! 

I had placed so many expections of myself, it was no wonder I was slowing dying under the pressure! I had the typical woman standards, (being thin enough, pretty enough) and the normal mom worries, (is my home clean enough, am I doing enough for my kids, I have to balance everything, perfectly, alllll of the time!) And wife worries...(does he feel loved enough by me, am I giving enough, am I making him happy enough). But the ones that really broke me down were the small ones I didn't even realized I had placed upon myself! 

I have been so unsure about myself the majority of my life that I placed expectations on how I talked, laughed, smiled. Expectations on the thoughts I had, the goals I needed to make, the way I ate my food! How I folded my laundry, how well I kept my cupboards organized. How absurd!!! 

I had so little love and confidence in myself that I tried to be ANYBODY else, think like someone else, talk like them, respond like them, that I didn't even realize, trying to be something that I wasn't, was NEVER going to bring me happiness! 

I challenge everyone reading this post to find one stupid expectation that you've placed upon yourself and release it! Let it go! I set the intention of this post to be cleaning and healing of all those that read it! That you may find a feeling of comfort and love for yourself! Thanks! 

Much love to you beautiful human beings! Remember to breathe, and find the simple joy in life! 💙